z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Monkey in the Fire

by Arch Stanton


There was once a little blue plastic box

It was first seen floating down a stream

Just gently bobbing up and down

Like one does in a sea of dreams.

-

It floated here and jostled there

As it hit a few pebbles and stones

Until it got hit and stuck on a fallen log

From inside came sad and painful moans.
-

Out the box came a furry hand

And clawed its way to the brim

Seen was a tiny little monkey

Hairy, tiny, scared, slim.

-

It looked underfed, and it seemed lost

It attempted to look about

It saw the source of the sudden stop

Onto the log it crawled out.

-

It looked around and strolled about

The new location it arrived at

It slowly crawled to the riverbank

And there it just simply sat.

-

The monkey suddenly saw a monster

A gigantic and heavy red beast

The monkey screeched in fear

The monster didn’t bother in the least.

-

It went ahead and sped away

As the car on the road didn’t bother to see

The survivor of a terrible forest fire

That killed its parents tragically.

-

The poor monkey sat there hungry

It tried to look for something to eat

It saw a flashy blue plastic cover

It rushed towards it on all four feet.

-

It picked up the piece of plastic

And thrust its head into the open cover.

It loved the smell and clung to the packet

Like one would cling to their lover.

-

It began going back to its plastic box home

Its view was blocked by the packet

The crinkling of the bright blue cover

Masked another car’s loud racket.

-

The monkey failed to hear or see

The huge fast-approaching car

The car driver too failed to see the monkey

He thought the cover was being blown afar.

-

The poor monkey had suffered enough

The valiant survivor of a forest fire

The victim of human colonization

The sufferer of unnecessary desire.

-

The monkey was brutally run over

By the car driver, who was unaware

Of the fact that an innocent little monkey

Was walking on the road right there.

-

As the car felt a sudden jiggle

It pressed the brakes and screeched to a halt

The driver looked at the bloody mass

And immediately felt guilty for his fault.

-

He buried the baby monkey near the banks

And went on to the place he was to go.

He constantly thought of his big mistake

Wishing he had not done so.

-

He wanted to repent for his mistake.

So, he decided to let people know

The effects of burning up the forests

Before it turns into a mere shadow.

-

He spoke before a public camera,

Intending to reach out to everyone.

Being an environmentalist himself,

He felt it had to be done.

-

“Listen to my voice, people, hear me out,

The world must be changed.

The money-hungry people don’t think enough,

But they’re cunning and deranged.

-

“They use the earth, they never repay,

They must be ignored at all cost.

It’s inevitable that they’re here to stay.

But, indeed, all is never lost.

-

“Ignore the companies and raise your voice

Against the evil cattle-ranchers.

Stop the support of Brazilian beef

Since they clear forests in want of pastures.

-

“The government must also be blamed

Since they legalized this foul deed.

Shout at them until they understand

To give only how much the farmers need.

-

“Stick to Mother Nature, listen to her,

Her lungs are constantly burning.

Never ignore her steady pleas,

There’s always something worth learning.

-

“The fire drove out a baby monkey

And I unintentionally ran over it.

So please, let me repent for my mistake

I’m simply trying to do my bit.

-

“Please let my efforts not be in vain

Help the forests, let them grow back.

We’ve already lost so much in less time

Let’s bring her back on track.

-

“I hope this message reaches out to people

And they start to save the Amazonian trees

Please do not ignore me, but the companies

I request you, hear out my pleas.”


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User avatar
19 Reviews


Points: 31
Reviews: 19

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Mon Mar 30, 2020 2:30 am
koinoyokan wrote a review...



I really enjoyed the overall tone of the piece. You're able to encapsulate huge problems with simple imagery and innocent actions. I especially liked the lines "The victim of human colonization The sufferer of unnecessary desire." Which flowed very nicely.

I think some times you're losing this flow with too many lines saying similar things which I saw mostly in the beginning. I also feel similar to SMLocke in which the separation of the stanzas would have helped the piece move better when reading. But overall something I can see relating to a lot of people, making it very impactful.




Arch Stanton says...


I've tried separating them so many times while I click tool editor but it keeps going back to how it was %uD83D%uDE29



koinoyokan says...


I had that too. So I just put a dash between the lines to keep the spaces. You can see it in my latest poem.



Arch Stanton says...


Oh, thanks!



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174 Reviews


Points: 3050
Reviews: 174

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Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:43 pm
JesseWrites wrote a review...



This was a interesting piece. The topic is very relevant in this day and age. I enjoyed this a lot. There was a large amount of errors, but they will improve if you take my constructive criticism to heart.

You need to space after every four lines. It shows that your stanza is over. It makes everything easier to read and to understand.

Keep practicing!
~S.M.Locke~




Arch Stanton says...


I try doing that, but it doesn't show in the published version... So I just gave up and wrote that comment down to whoever bothers to read it.



Arch Stanton says...


Also, could you tell me where I can change for the better?



JesseWrites says...


It was mainly the spaces after stanzas. That is very annoying, but everything else was good.



Arch Stanton says...


Thanks :)



Arch Stanton says...


I%u2019ve been able to break the stanzas now, thanks to @koinoyokan



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Points: 5
Reviews: 2

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Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:42 pm
Arch Stanton says...



Please put a break every four lines, indicating the end of the stanza





If you don't know where you're going, any road'll take you there.
— George Harrison